E-Portfolio

*LIVE ESSAY*


Rebecca Katz

Eng 102 Online

Mrs. Cline

Essay 1

18 September 2010

For Every Woman like Me


There were several poems in the Poetry of Witness that related to me in some sort but the one that mirrored me the most was Joy Harjo’s,The Woman Hanging from the Thirteenth Floor Window.The poem was written like a chapter out of a novel, very easy to read and left me in suspense. It wasn’t written with too much power but the soft and quiet flow was soothing for my visualization. I didn’t have to reread it because I felt like I knew the point that the poet was explaining. Harjo’s character was in that unordinary position in life that makes an excellent and abstract piece of writing. Harjo’s poem wasn’t a poem about common emotions but what she wrote was about an experience in someone’s life that is never forgotten. To me her poem meant a time in life where someone has to go through the files of their past experiences and make a decision that bases off of those moments and I personally relate to it because I once had to make a decision that impacted me.

The Woman Hanging from the Thirteenth Floor Window wasn’t just written for the poet. She is reaching out letting other woman know that they are NOT alone and their feelings aren’t rare. “She is all the women of the apartment building who stand watching her, watching themselves”, (Harjo 14). The woman isn’t alone when she thinks she’s insane she’s one of many. I have faced a life choice where I thought no one knew how I felt but beneath it all someone out there did. Woman and men face problems that seem like too much for a person to bear that they declare they are the first to experience it. It’s a comfort to say that there are others out there that sympathize and feel for the same problem because they went through it too. This poem almost sounds like the poet was speaking of a woman who wants to commit suicide and end it all. I have never gone as far as ending my life but I have always wondered if my problems would be better if I terminated it. I took Harjo’s poem to another level and turned the suicide theory into getting rid of responsibilities and pain.
Instances in life happen where responsibilities become too much to handle and people search for ultimatums. Giving up is the easiest way out. “She thinks she will be set free”, (Harjo 7). Opting out is being free of the problems and the pain but is it really? That’s why in the end of the poem it’s a cliffhanger whether or not the woman on the thirteenth floor window hung on to her life or let go. Every side has its reasons and every decision is based off of them half and half. It’s the person who’s in those circumstances that decides which one is best and for some it is giving up or ending their lives.
I am the woman from the thirteenth floor window who held on. I chose to go to school full time and have a full time job after I graduated high school. Before, I had the luxury of spending my dad’s money and sharing memories with all of my friends every day of every week without a sweat. I left it all behind so I can be the responsible adult I’m supposed to be. I got to a breaking point in my busy and dull life where I didn’t want to be that adult anymore. I couldn’t remember the last time I had fun or didn’t have to worry about bills. My first initial thought was to bail. I decided that all my responsibilities didn’t matter and I rather be a free spirit than be a conformist. I was hanging on that thirteenth floor window where I had to choose between two very important factors in my life, freedom vs. responsibility. “She thinks she remembers listening to her own life break lose, as she falls from the 13th floor window on the east side of Chicago, or as she climbs back up to claim herself again”, ( Harjo 63-66). Both sides have great points and making the decision declares what the future entails. Friends and family will be left to sorrow and disappointed or they can be proud. I had to face being a shame to myself and my family or be happy because I had nothing holding me back. I held on to my window because if letting myself go meant being selfish and hurting others than it wasn’t worth it to me.


I think the woman on the thirteenth floor window held on too. Like me she will one day be free and share it with her family and the beauties of the world. I and many others out there have hung off that same window and we all had to choose between two outcomes. No one is alone and no choice is wrong, everything has a purpose.



*REFLECTION*


This semester was pretty tough, especially this English 102 class being online. It’s my first year having a full time job and being a full time student. I did notice a big drop in my performance compared to my other years in college. English is one of my favorite subjects and I love to excel in it. I have had Mrs. Cline for every English course I needed to take at Yavapai. This is my last course I needed to take and I am proud of the work I have done and I really picked up my progress.
The first thing that I got out of my English 102 course was how to manage my life and keep focus. It’s an online class and I was the one who had to force myself to go online and complete everything without reminders. It was much different than any other class I’ve taken before because it was online. I’m new to the cyber learning and it’s a lot more work than I expected. I am glad I was prepared for Mrs. Cline’s expectations because I did have her as my professor in two other classes.
I learned how to teach myself. I had to remember all the writing steps that I learned and I had to teach them to myself all over again. It was nice going back and trying to do it on my own. It was a pain to keep myself focused but I stuck with it until the end.
I feel like my analyzing of papers has excelled from my previous papers I have done. I had more time and I got to choose my learning environment which made it easier for me to keep focus and have the analytic mind I always wanted. The positive side of the class being online was I got to start early on assignments so by due date I was prepared and had plenty of time for prewriting and rough drafting.
My writing has changed from being in this class all because I had to choose my style and I had to do it almost all on my own. I always had neat ways of writing styles and went by typical writing standards but because this class required more research I finally went out of the box. I enjoyed researching styles of writing and tips on the Yavapai College Library website.
Another major thing I enjoyed taking out of my English 102 course online was getting better at citing my sources. All of my sources came from required text or online and because I used them often I had to teach myself how to get better at citing. I have never been good at citing my resources but the class really pushed me and motivated me to get better.
I learned more than I thought I would from this online course. My writing style has improved and I took more out of this class than any of my other English courses. I am proud of what I learned and even more proud that I taught myself the majority of things and I did it on my own. I’m fearless of future online courses ahead and excited to see what I can build from them as well.



*VISUAL PRESENTATION*

Presentation1

View more presentations from ummrebecca.

* 3 Favorite Blog Posts*


Nobokov Reading Blog

The reason this is one of my most favorite blogs is because it really helped my eyes open and to be less judgemental on the things I read. I knew never to read anything with a pessimistic attitude but the Nobokov readings was a great help in leading me in the right direction. i enjoyed writing about it in a post because it let me express my thoughts on paper.


Mid Session Review Blog

This blog post really helped me in a way that I had to grade my progress. It was in the middle of the semester and I liked explaining what I had to do to improve and what I was learning. This blog post was a reality check and it put me on the motivation track that I was halfway though with the class.


The Things They Carried Blog


I really enjoyed this blog post because it was about one my my favorite novels I had to read in this class like expressing my feelings on my favorite novels, especially through blog posts because I get to include pictures and links. I loved the novel because it taught me a lot about war and coping and I also enjoyed writing several essays on it as well. This blog post was somewhat of a sneek peek of what I was going to write next.



*Work Cited*

Harjo, Joy.” The Woman Hanging From the Thirteenth Floor Window". She Had Some.
Thunder's Mouth Press. 2006. Poetry Foundation.September 18, 2010.

Topic Proposal

1. One of the things about this text that confuses me a little bit is that I was confused whether or not the story was true. It sounds so real and is based on things that could actually happen and it made me unsure whether or not it was based on a true story but it’s not. I want to learn more about women’s rights. The Handmaids Tale doesn’t express women’s rights and I want to know more about the era in the U.S. when woman didn’t have as many rights as they do now.
2. I plan to do some research on the time frames when women had to fight for their rights. I want to compare the rights they had back then and the rights they have now.
3. I chose to do research on women’s rights because I am a woman and I want to know about my history is. I need to know why I’m allowed to do things I do this day and who fought so I could do them. It will also help me better understand The Handmaids Tale because the author Margaret Atwood must have written the story so woman like me will want to understand more about Female rights.
CHECK THIS OUT! http://womensrights.change.org/

Thesis Blog

Thesis Blog Post

1. A is the weakest statement because it doesn’t help me understand what the rest of the essay entails and it is too blunt. I know the essay is going to be about The Origin of Species but what about and why are they writing about it is what I want to know.
2. A is the weakest because it’s not really specific and too generic. I’m not getting all the details I need out of that thesis in order to understand why I’m reading it.
3. B is the weakest thesis statement because it’s telling me something I’ve already heard before. The topic is too popular and the thesis is too general.
4. A is the weakest statement because it’s telling me something that is already obvious. I need to know more of why the play is what it is and why I’m reading about it.
5. A is the weakest statement because it goes too person and it’s coming from the authors opinion. It had the building blocks to becoming a good thesis until opinion was put into it.
6. My thesis will look somewhat like, “The time and place where O’Brien was raised clouded and stirred up his views and opinions on the war which to this day still impacts his life.” I’m still working on a better thesis. I think that with thesis’s I have to take more time on them than I do on my actual paper because the thesis is that important. I still have to make it arguable and specific and definitely support what I’m saying and stop going off my opinions.

Mid Session Check In

Mid Session Check In
1. The biggest challenge in this class so far for me is getting use to the idea that it’s an online class and not one where I have to go to a room certain days of the week. I find it harder for me to make my own time to put into this class. I’m better at learning in a classroom and for me to take my favorite subject and do it all online is hard for me and I’m finally getting the hang of online college.
2. The readings in the class at first didn’t excite me because I am a very picky reader but I enjoyed them much more than I thought. It was the analyzing that made me enjoy them more because I knew the purpose. It affected my opinion on things I never cared about before.
3. Literary analysis is different than the writings I have done in the past because it takes me longer to actually comprehend and compare the texts than just persuasive papers and comparing and contrasting. Literary analysis focuses more on the roots of what I’m reading than just comparing it with something else I have read, I actually enjoy literary analysis more than my past college writings.
4. My goals for the last part of this online class is to put more time into the work I do improve some of my writing. I want to get better at making organized pieces of writing and stop with my run on sentences. I also want to come out of this class with a lot more knowledge on literature because this is my last English class I will have to take. I would like to take skills I learned from this class and use them when I’m out of college.

On the Rainy River

I chose to analyze Tim O’Brien’s, On the Rainy River because it was a story the author only revealed in his book. The chapter was about the author Tim O’Brien and his last days in the United States before he had to go to Vietnam. The time takes place when Tim O’Brien was twenty one and in his game with school and making something of himself. He was drafted Vietnam war and stripped from his life that he loved. About to go to Harvard and was president of his fraternity. About to leave his loved ones and his hometown O’Brien was forced to make a life changing decision.
O’Brien had a choice to both leave his family and hometown and go to Canada and be ashamed of himself for the rest of his life or go to Vietnam and make everyone proud of him. He was close to the border between Minnesota and Canada. His days were counting down and in his chapter he reveals his true shame. Desperate to avoid the war he left without knowing what was ahead. “For a while I just drove, not aiming at anything”, (O’Brien 45). Not caring what the future entailed, O’Brien was driving away from the war.
O’Brien ended up at a lodge next to the rainy river which separated his fate. He lived with the owner of the lodge for six days. Those six days were time for him to think and look at all of his opportunities. The owner wasn’t snoopy and knew that he had to give O’Brien his time and space to think. O’Brien’s last day at the lodge, O’Brien and the owner took a boating trip on the rainy river. That was the moment where O’Brien had to choose whether he would stay or go. In the beginning it was simple; he would jump over the boat and make himself a free life in Canada. Being there in the boat only twenty yards away from Canada land O’Brien froze. “I couldn’t decide, I couldn’t act, I couldn’t comport myself with even a pretense of modest human dignity”, (O’Brien 54).
Like a life and death situation O’Brien saw his future before his eyes. The image to me was like a life and death situation because he was choosing two very difficult life choices. Live the life he wants with no one by his side or go to a far off country and fight for something he didn’t believe to make people proud. The ending wasn’t so fortunate though; most would have jumped the boat and lived a life of choice. Instead O’Brien chose a life without embarrassment and headed back to Minnesota and went to war.
He has always been too ashamed to tell his story because he is still regretful for his decision. He didn’t go with his instinct because he didn’t want to live a life of shame. In the end he came home with a family who was proud of him and the fears of people thinking he was a traitor was a weight lifted off his shoulders but unfortunately the regret still hovered over him because all in all he didn’t make the “right” decision.

http://www.bookrags.com/notes/tttc/QUO.htm

The Things They Carried

The Things They Carried

I’m not into reading stories that involve war but when I read Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried I was in suspense and wanted more. I was attached to the main character Lieutenant Cross from the beginning of the first chapter. The chapter was the start of a Lieutenant’s strong love for someone. Cross was in love with a woman named Martha and he wasn’t sure she loved him. I took it as one of those sappy love stories of a friend being in love with their best friend. In just one chapter I learned so much about the main character and what was ahead which leaves me wanting more.
The chapter was an introduction to the men and Lieutenant Cross and what they carried through Vietnam. They had so many pounds of materials they needed to help them through the war like clothing, bandages, ammo, and helmets and they still found the strength to carry more. Cross carried the letters of his love Martha. It broke my heart because I thought of all the men who had memoirs of home like pictures and knick knacks they carried through war.
The letters that Martha wrote Cross were carried with him though the hell and chaos of war and a letter that Martha didn’t think was so symbolic was helping Cross bare with all the death and homesickness. When I think about war I don’t think about the soldiers who go to sleep crying at night or the ones who hold on to a picture of their families with their lives because it’s their only reminder of home, I’m not sure if anyone does. The first chapter of The Things They Carried really opened my eyes, there is a war going on now and there are possibilities that people I love could go to Iraq and be in Lieutenant Cross’ shoes. When I see all the American flags and people strongly supporting our soldiers I know why they do. Soldiers leave people they love to fight for people they don’t even know personally. There are so many soldiers fighting right now that have never seen my face but they are fighting to keep me and my country safe. I feel more impacted now than I ever have about war because I only saw the pictures. Now that I have went as far as reading personal stories I feel for our soldiers.

Sean Huze's "The Sandstorm"

Sean Huze the author of The Sandstorm, which entails stories from men in the Iraq war. These stories are deep and sad but true. I am on onlooker and when I think about the men serving my country I don’t think about the stories they tell. The men that are lost and the danger they face is forgotten. Men out there that have families just like me and futures ahead of them like me, are risking their lives for me.
These soldiers are in Iraq not only to protect the country but they protect the people in Iraq too. I enjoyed the story where the people of Iraq were grateful and cared for them by helping them out too. There are citizens here who think that the Iraqi people are vicious and don’t care about what the soldiers are doing to protect them but no ones knows until they experience it themselves.
I can’t ever say I’m brave because I’m not. There are soldiers in Iraq that are just as young as me and they left their families to help the country. Soldiers deserve the respect they are given because they go to dangerous countries like Iraq and knowingly risk their lives. They risk their psychological health knowing that they will see things only a soldier will. I have never put myself in that position and I know I couldn’t. Some soldiers go to war knowing they can’t either but they do because they protect America. I have a close friend who is engaged to a Navy soldier who is on a ship near Korea. They haven’t physical been near each other for over a year. He is a strong soldier because he is out there fighting for us and our freedom while we sit here living the lives they chose to abandon so we can live the lives they wanted. It’s a miracle every time he comes home from port. I believe all soldiers deserve the benefits they get because of what they leave behind and what they face. I sadly enough didn’t know about all the tragedy that was going on in our soldiers’ lives and what they faced. Sean Huze’s play opened my eyes and made me admire the soldiers in Iraq even more.